Week 0

Last week was actually supposed to be week 0. Upon reflection, I am not sure what we would have called this week...0.2? Monday begins the first 17 week teaching stint of my last year at Sias. Yes, you read that correctly, my last year at Sias. Of course, I never like to limit Dad. Because anytime you add superlatives to any life changing decision, you will inevitably find them challenged. So I try not to be so definite even if I feel certain (because the heart above all things is desperately wicked, or something like that). So, to go back to the previous statement, it is very much, most likely, I feel certain, that this is my last year at Sias.

But back to week 0. Crazy week 0. Our new teachers arrived a week late. The reasons are many and aren't important in retrospect or even future-spect. (What word do I use? My brain is fried.) The important thing is that most of them are here. Every August since the August when I arrived 2 years ago has been like this.  People come in waves and trickles and then droplets. And most people make it to the trainings, and some don't and have to watch the video versions (the quality of which can't be too stellar). By the end of it, those jet lagging are overwhelmed and overstimulated, and those training feel about the same. But we all run into week 1 at full speed to be in our classrooms 15 minutes early to start well.

Culture shock this year has definitely been noticeable. And my stress levels over the past week have exceeded my average stress levels for the past 2 years. I guess this is what leadership does to you, in some part, and also what a few words like, "I need to have a word with you" can do to your psyche when you're left to think of them while you sleep. I really started to reflect. It was a struggle for peace. I didn't sleep well, had dreams with kidnappings and guns in them... a good reminder that the place I live in is an unseen battleground. (Any and all upliftings are appreciated!) And the matter was miniscule, nothing personal, actually related to business. I guess you could say I feel a greater weight being in leadership, and while I want to be above reproach, I know I make mistakes - now to be better about owning up to them and making amends right away. The positive outcome of this experience is that I was ready to hear anything unpleasant my friend had to say to me! I figured that she loves me and needed to tell me something to correct some flaw. (Though I did reflect, after the fact, that if that were the case, it would have been cruel for her to not tell me that day and make me wait all night.)

Anyway, I am not really complaining, just reflecting. Culture shock has been related to learning the language. I've actually reverted - it's as if not hearing or being able to use Chinese for 6 weeks has made me forget everything. And then the rebellious part of me doesn't even want to learn! I am secretly, or not so secretly, envious of my friends who have been putting in the time to learn and are actually improving. Meanwhile, I feel like I am in the same spot I was a year ago. My friends are my crutch. I need to get over the fact that Mandarin is a hard language and just work at it. Oh, pride.

Tomorrow is Friday, and I have 2 more training meetings to attend (as support) and a short meeting to drop in on in the afternoon, and then the weekend. Before Monday I have my lesson to prepare and the annual rummage sale to organize and oversee. It's going to be a busy weekend. I can't wait until NEXT weekend.